usa:tv-ma certificated movies

Genres: Animation | Comedy | Musical | Actors: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Mary Kay Bergman, Directors: Plot Summary: Howdy Ho! Mr. Hankey, everybody's favorite piece of poo, is here to show us his line up of holly jolly Christmas songs! There's S.D. Kluger singing the Mr. Hankey theme, then we've got Mr. Mackey singing Carol of the Bells, Eric Cartman singing "O Holy Night", Jesus Christ and Santa Claus singing a medley of Christmas jingles, and even Mr. Garrison wishes all the religions of the world a Merry fucking Christmas! It really is a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, a Krazy Kwanza, and all the rest!

---

Genres: Comedy | Drama | Romance | Actors: William H. Macy, Alec Baldwin, Maria Bello, Shawn Hatosy, Ron Livingston, Paul Sorvino, Estella Warren, Arthur J. Nascarella, Joey Fatone, M.C. Gainey, Ellen Greene, Don Scribner, Tony Longo, Richard Israel, Timothy Landfield, Directors: Wayne Kramer,  Plot Summary: The Cooler is Bernie Lootz, and THE COOLER is a love story about the changing fortunes of this down-at-heels loser who has made a career out of spreading his virulent bad luck on the floor of Las Vegas' aging Shangri-La casino. When Bernie falls for a gorgeous cocktail waitress his bad luck is thrown into reverse.

---

Genres: Adventure | Animation | Comedy | Actors: Seth MacFarlane, Alex Borstein, Seth Green, Mila Kunis, Lori Alan, Drew Barrymore, Noel Blanc, John G. Brennan, Mike Henry, Gary Janetti, Don LaFontaine, Phil LaMarr, Ron Livingston, Rachael MacFarlane, Kevin Michael Richardson, Directors: Pete Michels,  Plot Summary: The major sub-plot circles around the youngest Griffin, Stewie, who has a near-death experience at a pool when a lifeguard chair falls on him, but he survives. After having a vision of being in Hell, he decides to change his ways, but this doesn't last long. While watching television, he and Brian spot a man that looks like Stewie. Brian is convinced that he is Stewie's real father, until Stewie learns that the man is actually himself as an adult, taking a vacation from his own time period. Baby Stewie visits thirty years later to discover that his adult self, going by the name Stu, is a single blue-collar middle-aged virgin working at a Circuit City-type store. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois are trying to teach their two older kids, Meg and Chris, to date. In the future, Chris, who hasn't changed much, is working as a cop and is married to a foul-mouthed hustler named Vanessa. Meg is now called Ron, since she had a sex-change after college.

---

Genres: Comedy | Actors: Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, William Snape, Steve Huison, Tom Wilkinson, Paul Barber, Hugo Speer, Lesley Sharp, Emily Woof, Deirdre Costello, Paul Butterworth, Dave Hill, Bruce Jones, Andrew Livingston, Vinny Dhillon, Directors: Peter Cattaneo,  Plot Summary: Six unemployed steel workers, inspired by the Chippendale's dancers, form a male striptease act. The women cheer them on to go for "the full monty" - total nudity.

---

Genres: Comedy | Drama | Romance | Actors: Zach Braff, Kenneth Graymez, George C. Wolfe, Austin Lysy, Gary Gilbert, Jill Flint, Ian Holm, Peter Sarsgaard, Alex Burns, Jackie Hoffman, Michael Weston, Christopher Carley, Armando Riesco, Amy Ferguson, Trisha LaFache, Directors: Zach Braff,  Plot Summary: Andrew Largeman shuffled through life in a lithium-induced coma until his mother's death inspired a vacation from the pills to see what might happen. A moderately successful TV actor living in Los Angeles, "Large" hasn't been home to the Garden State in nine years. But even with 3,000 miles between them, he's been unable to escape his domineering father Gideon and the silencing effect he's had on his son from afar. Stunned to find himself in his hometown after such a long absence, Large finds old acquaintances around every corner living quite unique lives as gravediggers, fast food knights and the panderers of pyramid schemes. Meanwhile, at home, he does his best to avoid a long-simmering but inevitable confrontation with his father. By a twist of fate, Large meets Sam, a girl who is everything he isn't. A blast of color, hope and quirks, Sam becomes a sidekick who refuses to ride in his sidecar. Her warmth and fearlessness give Large the courage to open his heart to the joy and pain of the infinite abyss that is life.

---

Genres: Comedy | Actors: Jason Schwartzman, Isabelle Huppert, Dustin Hoffman, Lily Tomlin, Jude Law, Mark Wahlberg, Naomi Watts, Angela Grillo, Ger Duany, Darlene Hunt, Kevin Dunn, Benny Hernandez, Richard Appel, Benjamin Nurick, Jake Muxworthy, Directors: David O. Russell,  Plot Summary: Determined to solve the coincidence of seeing the same conspicuous stranger three times in a day, Albert hires a pair of existentialist detectives, who insist on spying on his everyday life while sharing their views on life and the nature of the universe.

---

Genres: Crime | Drama | Thriller | Actors: Denise Crosby, Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster, Bridget Fonda, Michael Keaton, Robert De Niro, Michael Bowen, Chris Tucker, Lisa Gay Hamilton, Tom 'Tiny' Lister Jr., Hattie Winston, David Haig, Aimee Graham, Ellis Williams, Tangie Ambrose, Directors: Quentin Tarantino,  Plot Summary: Jackie Brown is the name of a flight attendant who gets caught smuggling her boss' gun money on the airline she works for. Luckily for her, the Fed Ray Nicolet and the LA Cop Mark Dargus decide to team up in order to arrest the arms dealer she works for, whose name they don't even know. Here's when she has to choose one way: tell Nicolet and Dargus about Ordell Robbie (the arms dealer) and get her freedom -except that if Ordell suspects you're talking about him, you're dead- or keep her mouth shut and do some time. That's when she meets Max Cherry -her bail bondsman-, a late fifties, recently separated, burnt-out man, who falls in love with her. Then Jackie comes up with a plan to play the Feds off against Ordell and the guys he works with -Louis Gara and Melanie Ralston, among others- and walk off with their money. But she needs Max's help. No one is going to stand in the way of his million dollar payoff...

---

Genres: Comedy | Crime | Romance | Actors: Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, David Herman, Ajay Naidu, Diedrich Bader, Stephen Root, Gary Cole, Richard Riehle, Alexandra Wentworth, Joe Bays, John C. McGinley, Paul Willson, Kinna McInroe, Todd Duffey, Greg Pitts, Directors: Mike Judge,  Plot Summary: Peter Gibbons just can't seem to catch a break. His girlfriend is cheating on him, he has an obnoxious neighbor, and he's completely miserable with his job as a small cog in a company called Initech. Then he visits a hypnotherapist, who dies just after putting Peter into a state of complete bliss. Free of worrying about making a living, he no longer feels the need to keep his job, just as the company is going through a massive downsizing. However, his new attitude only makes him more valuable in the company's eyes, and his friends Michael and Samir are fired instead. Together, they scheme to plant a virus inside Initech's computer system that will pull money into their own account.

---

Genres: Comedy | Drama | Musical | Actors: Kristen Bell, Christian Campbell, Neve Campbell, Alan Cumming, Ana Gasteyer, John Kassir, Amy Spanger, Robert Torti, Steven Weber, Kevin McNulty, Stephen J.M. Sisk, Stephen E. Miller, Robert Clarke, Ruth Nichol, Lynda Boyd, Directors: Andy Fickman,  Plot Summary: This film tells the tale of the Harper Affair, in which young Jimmy Harper finds his life of promise turn into a life of debauchery and murder thanks to the new drug menace marijuana. Along the way he receives help from his girlfriend Mary and Jesus himself, but always finds himself in the arms of the Reefer Man and the rest of the denizens of the Reefer Den.

---

Genres: Action | Drama | War | Actors: Tom Hanks, Tom Sizemore, Edward Burns, Barry Pepper, Adam Goldberg, Vin Diesel, Giovanni Ribisi, Jeremy Davies, Matt Damon, Ted Danson, Paul Giamatti, Dennis Farina, Joerg Stadler, Steven Martini, Dylan Bruno, Directors: Steven Spielberg,  Plot Summary: Opening with the Allied invasion of Normandy on 6 June 1944, members of the 2nd Ranger Battalion under Cpt. Miller fight ashore to secure a beachhead. Amidst the fighting, two brothers are killed in action. Earlier in New Guinea, a third brother is KIA. Their mother, Mrs. Ryan, is to receive all three of the grave telegrams on the same day. The United States Army Chief of Staff, George C. Marshall, is given an opportunity to alleviate some of her grief when he learns of a fourth brother, Private James Ryan, and decides to send out 8 men (Cpt. Miller and select members from 2nd Rangers) to find him and bring him back home to his mother...

---

Genres: Animation | Comedy | Musical | Actors: Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Trey Parker, Directors: Trey Parker,  Plot Summary: South Park is a peaceful and quiet town until the Terrence and Phillip movie "Asses Of Fire" hits the theaters. Once that happens, all friggin' hell breaks loose. After all the kids see the movie, they begin using all the foul and naughty language used in the movie. When the parents discover this, they demand war against Canada. The parents plan to execute Terrence and Phillip. After Kenny gets sent to hell (all thanks to Cartman), he overhears Satan and Saddam Hussien plan to rise to Earth to rule for 2,000,000 years of torture once Terrence and Phillip's blood touches US soil. Will Cartman's filthy fucking mouth and V-Chip save the day?

---

Genres: Action | Adventure | Drama | Thriller | Actors: Billy Zane, Kelly Brook, Juan Pablo Di Pace, Todd Collins, Victoria Di Pace, Gabrielle Jourdan, Gary Brockette, Isabelle Constantini, Roy Rivera, Maria Victoria Di Pace, Summer Davis, Keera Ann Davis, Kennedy Rolle, Myesha Pinder, Lashandra Burrows, Directors: Stewart Raffill,  Plot Summary: Jack & Jennifer take a private cruise with friends, such as Captain Richards and his wife Maggie. Manuel is a staff member who catches Jen's eye